life

alone

Celebration at Lake Superior

The body is never alone but when it thinks it is, the body feels lonely. The soul wants to be alone but is often drawn by the distraction of an objective world into the realm of the body where it quivers and shakes in search of itself. For this, one must simply return to being alone. Perhaps in body but definitely in soul.

Of all the talk of ‘the challenges of this quarantine’, feeling isolated is not one of mine. Isolation for me is like being in a dark movie theatre watching a movie I want never to end. Or the feeling of endlessness and wonder I felt while living alone in a tent in the Cloyoquat Sound rainforest at the north western tip of Vancouver Island when I was 20 years old. The fear I felt there was of the animal variety; Is that a bear, am I going to get arrested for sleeping in this abandoned Mercedes I found on the beach, am I going to drowned in the ocean trying to return to my tent in the middle of the night. A fight or flight response, clear and comprehensive. No psychic confusion or grappling with my ego.

Is this pandemic panic really a fear of being alone? or is it panic all on its’ own. Like a fight or flight response that is born of a real threat but that becomes mutated by our perception. A fear that spreads like a cancer from the body into the soul echoing through the societal body. A widespread hysteria, no thanks in part to the media.

A calculated function of the News; Create co-dependancy with people in order to keep them tuned in and strung out in a dealer-addict supply chain. A news story is both anxiety inducing and anxiety assuaging. It feeds us the stories of chaos while giving us a sense we have some control over it. By simply presenting information, the news freaks us out. It sparks fear by insinuating that if we don’t keep abreast of the situation we will be caught off guard. A hurricane might come. A murderer might murder us. A giant virus might eat me but if I stay tuned in I will learn in what neighbourhoods I should be the most scared and the most suspicious of others.

In other famous words; the medium is the message. This is the great Capitalist paradox. A pandemic is perfect fodder for panic propoganda. And in this case it actually is on all our doorsteps, but that is just a coincidence. Media got lucky.

This pandemic is an opportunity for a spiritual revolution. A mass lift in world consciousness. Let go and surrender, the future is never. Don’t look at the news, even if it’s looking at you. Pay no attention for in deficit you will be if you are paying to attend to what a servant would do for free. And I am against all slavery, especially my own. I don’t want to engage, I need freedom from hope. We need space from the future an impossible stake. Yet behaviour will take a posture of confidence to carry the con. Convince me tomorrow is better and beyond but a con is a fake, tomorrow never comes. When I’m working for tomorrow I’m networking big so big of a net it snags me then frays.

I Thank the lord for giving me space. Not for the virus for the deaths and the pain, but anti social introverted me is happy for the quarantine. To be in the clear without the clutter of small talk bound to the fantasy status quo.